Discuss all things Remember The Milk.

Make your partner love you with shared lists

grant says:
I moved in with my girlfriend last month, and when I realized that one of the things I was looking forward to most before moving in was getting her hooked on Remember The Milk, I knew my nerd-dom had reached new levels.

I had been planning for a good while how I could use shared tasks to make our lives easier, and after a month of actually using my system, I can tell you that yes, thanks in part to Remember The Milk, my girlfriend has decided to keep me around (for a little while longer, at least).

Let's get down to it:

Who the system is good for: Anybody living with their partner or roommate.
What it does: Lets you manage your household chores with no hassle.

The setup:

1. Create a shared list that you and your partner can view and edit.
I named mine Household.

2. In that list, create a task for every chore that you can think of.
Taking out the trash, cleaning the AC vents, flipping the mattress, etc. *Everything* 3. Decide how often you want to do these chores, and set them to repeat for that interval, then set a due date for when you would like them done next. I like to vacuum once a week, clean the shower every other week, and flip the mattress every 6 months.

3. Split up the chores, and when you decide who will do what, append your name as a tag
Putting it all together, I will have a task that looks like this:
Task: Vacuum
Repeat: Weekly
Due: In one week
tag: #grant

4. Create a smart list using this search: tag:yourname AND (dueBefore:today OR due:never).
You will be working from this smart list when doing chores. I named mine “Grant’s chores”. Using dueBefore:today will show you only the tasks that are due today (or yesterday, you slacker!) so your list isn’t cluttered with chores you have to do tomorrow (thanks bobbied). I named mine “Oh God what do I have to get done today”. Okay, not really, but I’m sure you can think of something.


This is the easy part. My girlfriend and I alternate chores, so before I complete a task, I will change the tag from #grant to #girlriendsname. That way it will show up in her list of chores. When she completes it, she’ll change the tag back to #grant and it gets passed back to me. Simple, automatic, and we never have to spend time discussing whose turn it is to scrub the toilet.

There are also times that you would like your significant other to do something that isn’t on the list of chores (or might not even be chore related). In that case, simply write what you would like him or her to do and append their name as a tag. Remember how we added due:never to the smart list? That way, random tasks like these will still show up in their smart list without a due date.

So you might think, “How exactly does this make your partner love you, exactly?” Well, if you are a guy and have a girlfriend or wife, nothing scores brownie points better than her coming home to a clean house without her having to say a word to you.

A few extra tips!

Tip#1: Stagger events that have the same large intervals: you don't want to look at your list one day and find you have to wax your floors and clean your fridge on the same day!

Tip#3: Personally I like to get all my chores done in one fell swoop, so I do everything Saturday morning. If it helps you too, pick one day of the week to get all of your chores done.

Tip#2: Sneak in a "kiss your SO when s/he gets home" task with their tag appended to it - I guarantee you'll come home to a wet sloppy one! You could also try adding “give massage”, but you might be pressing your luck…
Posted at 4:46am on September 13, 2012
raymond.bergmark Power Poster says:
Nice setup and nicely written! Absolutely a Tip of the Week if you ask me!
Posted 5 years ago
grant says:
Thanks! If it is, I feel sorry for the guy who has to translate this beast of a post into Japanese...
Posted 5 years ago
cnuland says:
rather than constantly changing your tasks between you and your girlfriend, why not create two tasks that repeat at a longer timeframe? So if you have clean toilet as a weekly event - #grant 's task would repeat every two weeks. Just a thought. Less likely to miss changing one and still having that argument :)
Posted 5 years ago
geoffjball says:
Plus, if you and your girlfriend split up, the #girlfriendsname tag can persist to the next one, saving the trouble of needing to change tags or get a girlfriend with the same name.
Posted 5 years ago
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