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Make sure you have Remember The Milk in your buddy list. The buddy may not always appear as 'online' in your buddy list, but you should receive reminders, even when the buddy appears 'offline'. If you have problems receiving instant messenger reminders, it may help to remove the buddy from your list and add it again.

On the various instant messenger networks, the buddies are:

Network Buddy
AIM rtmremind
Gadu-Gadu 2872848
Google Talk rtmremind@gmail.com
ICQ 304618909
Jabber rtmremind@im.rmilk.com
MSN remind@rememberthemilk.com
Skype rtmremind
Yahoo rtmremind